


Love me like you do (Alternative Ending)

by panders



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, alternative ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 20:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6392542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panders/pseuds/panders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fic is originally by @ichigotabetai (it's under the same title!) but with a twist from Chapter 11 onwards! So if you haven't already go read her fic first!! :)</p><p>Quoted from @ichigotabetai:</p><p>"It's not love. It's something worse. It's a goddamned itch, so deep in Jackson's soul that even he can't reach it. Because the keys to his soul are in Jaebum's hands and he is only just realizing it. Like some dazed drug addict, he's only now seen sobriety. Or maybe he's been sober all along and just stumbled upon that drug he craves but cannot have..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love me like you do (Alternative Ending)

**Author's Note:**

> The italics are parts that are directly quoted from the original fic itself and the twist only starts at the bottom where the font isn't in italics anymore! :) If you guys haven't already read the original fic, i urge you guys to because it really is super great and @ichigotabetai is a magnificent writer!! my motivation and inspiration to write my short snippet of a twist (and courage to post it up here) came completely from her!!!
> 
> Merged chapters 1 and 2 together! :)

_He thinks back to how they began - how he'd caught BamBam looking at him at odd moments, and teased the younger about it. He'd loved that - teasing the younger man until BamBam was a nice shade of tomato. BamBam has never been a brat though Mark has accused him of being one often enough. He's always been vulnerable, taking every word of criticism far too seriously, believing every sentence made in jest as a point in which to work harder to improve himself. His dongsaeng is always willing to sacrifice holidays because he thinks he isn't good enough, and not as good as the others at any rate. If Mark thinks carefully, he's always been aware of BamBam's insecurity, they all have. It's been their collective job to prop eachother up, and perhaps the maknaes needed more reassurance than the others. That's entirely understandable...he thinks._

_Perhaps, Mark thinks, they moved too fast into a relationship. Mark remembers being lonely, remembers BamBam's admiring gaze and perhaps that's why they clicked ? Mark had a need, and BamBam had one too - he was willing to give the love that Mark missed having so many months ago. With Jackson, Mark knows he has a relationship that doesn't need words (even though Jackson speaks enough for two) but with BamBam, it was new - a good kind of new, where they put one hesitating step in front of another, trying to learn about eachother. A slow burn, of sorts, and hadn't he enjoyed it ? The newness of it all had been exciting, learning eachother's boundaries - a trial and error but the kind that felt good at the time. Had it faded so soon that they could only see the negatives right now ?_

_But then, it wasn't he who had moved away. Maybe his patience had reduced but it was BamBam who drew the rigid lines and boundaries. But now....now the ball is his court. It's finally his choice and he can walk away, walk away to Jackson as BamBam thinks he is. As Jaebum thinks he is. They make him doubt his own heart as well._

_BamBam is fidgeting in his lap and he has to answer soon. Mark looks up at BamBam, sees the frown on his features, and imagines the smile he gets to see so rarely nowadays - thinks that he maybe wants to see that smile again._

_But things need to change. He knows that as well. Wishing and wanting is what Mark has been doing all along, and he's taken a stand too late. But it isn't too late - BamBam still wants something...otherwise he wouldn't be here, docile in Mark's grip, crying his heart out, even though he claims to believe that it's Jackson who belongs in his place._

_So Mark asks. "What do you want ?"_

At this question Bambam kept surprisingly silent, unmoving, as if he were deep in thought. After a while though a small, albeit sad, smile presented itself amidst his tears and he replied "For you to be happy hyung... All i've ever wanted was for you to be happy and, after we got together, i saw it as kind of my job to be able to make you smile so brightly and laugh so happily. So, when I realised that someone else could make you as happy, or even happier than I could, I got scared, insecure... I was scared that I couldn't even do well the only job i prided myself in having. Scared that you would realize how incompetent and useless I was compared to him, compared to you. And i'm sorry if I grew selfish or threw my childish tantrums but i did it only because I was afraid to lose you to someone else because i love you so much...

"Bam..." Mark muttered

"But I managed to screw things up anyway didn't I?" Bam continued, laughing bitterly at how ironically things played out in his relationship.

After Bambam's introspective confession, a somber silence filled the room before Mark said "Bam Bam you didn't screw things up, not completely at least. We can still make things work if you..."

"I don't make you happy anymore do I hyung?" Bambam interrupted, looking at Mark defeatedly as though he expected the worst from Mark's answer

Thrown off guard by Bambam's sudden question, Mark could only look at his dongsaeng in surprise. He was unsure of how to reply in a way that could best explain how he felt towards this boy that he grew to love over the months spent together. He couldn't deny that he still cared for this boy, loved him even (if he was being honest with himself), but the relationship between them had gotten too tiring for him. The constant fights had worn him out along with Bambam's perpetual insecurities.

In the midst of his thoughts, Mark failed to notice that the younger had already climbed off his lap and was heading towards the exit of his room. He was only being jolted back to reality at the younger's crushed voice that said "It's okay hyung, you don't have to answer me. Your hesitation is answer enough and I can see it in the way you look at Jackson hyung. Right now I am more of a source of anger for you than I will ever be as your source of happiness. I won't annoy you anymore. Rest well hyung and i truly hope that you'll always be happy."

Before Mark could say anything, Bambam left closing the door silently behind him, leaving Mark feeling conflicted and revelling deep in his own thoughts and emotions. Mark sat there stumped, shocked at the sudden turn of events, his conversation with Bambam did not turn out the way he expected it to and now he was left feeling more confused than ever. 

On one hand, being with Jackson would be an easy alternative to that mess of a relationship he had with BamBam. Jackson was an easy person to love, with his bright personality, easy-going nature and the overwhelming amount of love he had for everyone and everything around him. The two of them already had a close relationship and getting together with the younger could help fulfil his emotional needs and maybe, potentially, even his physical desires; which essentially kills two birds with one stone. 

But Mark couldn't deny the love that he's grown to have for Bambam over the months that they've spent together as a couple. Sure the constant fights got tiresome but it didn't mean that he loved the boy any less. The warm feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach when the younger sneaked a peck on his cheek; The smile that unconsciously etched itself onto his face when he reads the endearing and overly cheesy text messages that Bambam would send him, just to remind Mark how important and loved he was by the younger; these were just the tip of the ice berg to how loving and sweet the younger boy was. But Bambam wasn't perfect, he was far from it. As sweet as the younger boy could be, he was equally as insecure and vulnerable. Over-analyzing everything about their relationship and over-reacting every time Mark shared a laugh or a hug with one of the other boys. 

These insecurities soon got the better of them which led to their never-ending fights and somewhere along the way, after getting over the persistent emotional turmoil he felt from the numerous times they've broken up, Mark stopped trying. Sure there were still sweet moments between their constant squabbles but he stopped trying because he knew that no matter how many times they got back together, no matter how hard he tried to reassure Bambam that he loved only him, history would repeat itself and he would be stuck in the same emotionally-draining cycle with his dongsaeng all over again and he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't stand the heartache that came along with being in a relationship with Bambam but that didn't mean he loved his dongsaeng any less. 

Mark loved Jackson but, for as long as he has known the ball of sunshine, it had only been in a brotherly way. So when did it all change to something more romantic? Are his feelings towards Jackson real or is he just turning to Jackson in order to end the emotional turmoil that has been brought about by his relationship with Bambam? Mark was drowning in his thoughts, unsure of what to think or even feel but he was brought out of his trance when he heard the door to his room open...

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it is only a short twist! This is my first time writing any excerpt or snippet of any form so i hope it's okay! This hasn't been proof read so i'm sorry for any grammatical errors! also once again thank you so much @ichigotabetai. love you and if i do decide to continue with the twist (but because i'm a lazy scum, it may not even happen hehe) it will be dedicated entirely to you.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Flames](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6395767) by [panders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/panders/pseuds/panders)




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